化疗
化不了
心中焦虑 烦躁 不安 疑惑
为什么到了享福之时
偏让病魔缠身
您
无言以对
无可奈何
无所事事
无人倾诉
沉默回荡
当一直照顾着你的亲人
无法像以前一样照顾你
说不想烦你、加重你的负担
说知道家里有个生病的老人是很烦的
但从前
我不就是你的烦恼 ？
是？不是？
你是否当我是负担？
有？没有？
答案是否定的。
那既然当时你没嫌我烦、认为我是负担
那现在别说傻话了
拜托
我突然会煲汤哦~
虽然
肯定的
跟以前不一样
偶尔会感到有点儿累
但相信您更疲累
Wednesday 25 June 2008
Tuesday 24 June 2008
Thank you my drama clubbers..and ...
As rehearsals continue....
As I watched you all, smiling and dancing your hearts out despite the scoldings and naggings, I cannot help but feel very touched....rehearsals suddenly seem less tiring....
It is a joy to watch you all...from sec 1s till now...some of you are sec 3s, some sec 4s...I really trust you all...yes of course there are the little blur mistakes here and there (now who do not make mistakes?), the little hiccups along the way, your enthusiasm, initiative, creativity and smiles never fail to lift the situation and put a smile on my face....
Thank you my drama clubbers..... Chloe, Lena, Stephanie, Sherylene, Joey, Lim Yen, Valerie, Kerrie, Bernice, Teck Yong... and cute juniors, welcome to the family..hur hur.....I cannot name all....namely mostly those involved in the musical...
For being there when I needed you to do anything, from props, emcee-ing to collecting stuff for me....from acting to directing....
Most of the time, there are no incentives involved, but you guys just gallantly take up the jobs... in a time where many are practical and overly concerned with returns, do you all know just how precious you are? I really appreciate all your commitment and energy level....
*******************************************************
To: An unexpected volunteer M L+ his 3 brothers
I don't think you will get to read this, just want to let you know that I really did not expect to see your 3 brothers and you there when I tried to activiate a few of you last min to help with the painting of props...
For almost 4 years...I have tried to get to ya...through talkings, scoldings, naggings... however I think it was not easy for ya to try to attend something you do not actually feel for...
When I saw ya there painting the props with 3 other volunteers, I was ...speechless...
I know them. 2 are from my class.
And RY (easy) said," See, all your band 4 students come back to help you..." as he paints and shys away from my camera...
*OooOOoooorRRrrrRRRrhhhhhHhhh*
*TOUCHED*
To me, banding is a strategy that allow students to learn at a pace that is more suitable for you....I mean, what band? Rubber band? I do not like to be labelled, so I do not label.... as long as it is your best effort...as long as you have tried... it really does not matter if there are spelling errors and many mistakes.....
Thank you.....so.....much......=DD
As I watched you all, smiling and dancing your hearts out despite the scoldings and naggings, I cannot help but feel very touched....rehearsals suddenly seem less tiring....
It is a joy to watch you all...from sec 1s till now...some of you are sec 3s, some sec 4s...I really trust you all...yes of course there are the little blur mistakes here and there (now who do not make mistakes?), the little hiccups along the way, your enthusiasm, initiative, creativity and smiles never fail to lift the situation and put a smile on my face....
Thank you my drama clubbers..... Chloe, Lena, Stephanie, Sherylene, Joey, Lim Yen, Valerie, Kerrie, Bernice, Teck Yong... and cute juniors, welcome to the family..hur hur.....I cannot name all....namely mostly those involved in the musical...
For being there when I needed you to do anything, from props, emcee-ing to collecting stuff for me....from acting to directing....
Most of the time, there are no incentives involved, but you guys just gallantly take up the jobs... in a time where many are practical and overly concerned with returns, do you all know just how precious you are? I really appreciate all your commitment and energy level....
*******************************************************
To: An unexpected volunteer M L+ his 3 brothers
I don't think you will get to read this, just want to let you know that I really did not expect to see your 3 brothers and you there when I tried to activiate a few of you last min to help with the painting of props...
For almost 4 years...I have tried to get to ya...through talkings, scoldings, naggings... however I think it was not easy for ya to try to attend something you do not actually feel for...
When I saw ya there painting the props with 3 other volunteers, I was ...speechless...
I know them. 2 are from my class.
And RY (easy) said," See, all your band 4 students come back to help you..." as he paints and shys away from my camera...
*OooOOoooorRRrrrRRRrhhhhhHhhh*
*TOUCHED*
To me, banding is a strategy that allow students to learn at a pace that is more suitable for you....I mean, what band? Rubber band? I do not like to be labelled, so I do not label.... as long as it is your best effort...as long as you have tried... it really does not matter if there are spelling errors and many mistakes.....
Thank you.....so.....much......=DD
Tuesday 17 June 2008
Friday 13 June 2008
撒了一地的回忆.....是否应......
才一眨眼，假期已经过了一大半......这些都是五月拍的照片.....少了两个漂亮宝贝相伴，阿琪和阿芬也静了些......
这个六月过得平静.......最充实的莫过于在上个周末和几个老友萍、雯和H聚了聚......有时，快乐的时光并不会有定格的画面......
彩排就占据了大半的时间......
我想最大的满足感莫于大扫除了一番.......
真正的原因是：还来不及喘口气，又因为不速之客--邻居家的肥猫登门造访而闹得人仰马翻.......
那只肥头油耳的猫大人竟趁我家大门敞开之时，昂首挺胸、摇头摆尾地步入大殿，莅临我家聚集了一家大小杂物的房间，躲进房里（没）吃（没）喝（又）拉（又）撒搞得乌烟瘴气、臭气熏天.......
最后还得劳驾猫大人的主子亲自来接他回宫......全家紧皱眉头、捏着鼻子目送他离去......
他可好啦，回去继续吃喝玩乐.......这一刻，我对猫再也无法有任何好感.....最多.....我能接受garfield......
总不能不清理吧？或许我还得谢谢他....要不是他，我想我们也许会继续逃避现实不清理房间.....但由于真的快被熏死了，所以不得不动工......
工程之浩大，除了我最亲密的几个好友，是外人无法想象的.....东西是多到~~~
其实我家老豆真的应该赐封环保大使，因为说真的他什~么~都~收--大大小小的瓶瓶罐罐、各式各样的纸袋/盒、塑料袋/盒子、包装纸、宣传单等等等......孤独的螺丝、纽扣；成群结队的玻璃罐、浆糊棒（你可以想象是什么吗？传统的浆糊是有小棒子的哦~）、钩子/钉子（挂窗帘的、有些是ET的朋友属于不明物体）、椅垫（已被过世多年的椅子一定没想到它们留下了孩子......)
因为还有用/还可以用/还没有坏/只是有点儿破旧还可以缝补钉修丢了可惜/你怎么知道不会用到/等要用你才来找都找不到/你怎么知道不会成为古董到时走宝怎么办.....
这还不包括别人送的、扔的、不要的/我觉得好可惜先捡回来放一边/可能派得上用场/家里以后如果有小朋友可以玩可以用/先收着日后再处理......
大大小小的杂物用“琳琅满目”、“五花八门”、“无奇不有”来形容我还嫌自己词穷.......
一开始，丢别人的东西（主要是那些东拣西拿回来的）我可说是身手敏捷，丢得利落......随便一拉、一推、一丢、一抛都能装满一袋垃圾.....（至截稿时间，大概扔了/再循环了满满30袋的垃圾.....是trashbag size hor......）
但当须要丢的东西与一些和自己有着密切关系的人、事、物挂钩时，我便迟疑了，也开始放慢了速度......
已逝世的祖父母留下的信件、阿公的书桌、马票簿.....阿女麽的鞋子、衣物......
自己小时候的衣物、一些随手画的公仔，原来老爸都保留着.......
在整理的过程中，小学、中学、初院、大学的回忆也不经意撒了一地.......
虽然老豆的的内功深厚，功力高深莫测--东西叠至屋顶、塞压各角，隐身术之高明可说是古今奇观.......许许多多的玩意儿藏得深不见底，犹如一张无字无图的藏宝图，无法猜测，完全在你意料之外，令人叹为观止.......
任何泛泛之辈的garang guni uncle 大概相形见绌、甚至无地自容.......真的......因此我还是态度有些强硬地扔了许多许多的“东东”（尤其是有猫大人的尿骚味儿的杂物......）
有一些看似无用之物，我还是告诉自己要手下留情.......除了是因为这毕竟是老豆老妈的家，我不应如此嚣张（说真的，我罪不可赦，本身也是个恋旧之人......也有挺严重的“恋物癖”.....）
但为什么要放慢速度？（尽管我目前仍是以一天一至三袋的垃圾继续努力奋斗.......但小女子的体能快到饱和点了......）
我想，如果以后自己的孩子因为我的东西过多而逼着我或趁我不注意的时候把他认为是垃圾/占据空间/没有价值的东西给扔了，我会有何感受？作何感想？
一样东西的价值，岂是旁人所能衡量的？
在你眼中的一张废纸，因自己或某个人所留下的字迹而多了一层旁人无法理解的意义......
在他眼中的一个旧皮夹、皮包，或许夹杂的是模糊的记忆...某个人的身影.......
*****************************************************************
家，仍堆砌着杂物......
层层叠叠的缝隙惹尘埃，吹吹翻翻皆是尘封的回忆.......
*********************************************************
今天自己原本应带老妈去化疗，却因为自己的疏忽忽略了她必须前一晚先服药......结果今天白跑了一趟......必须延后疗程......差点儿揍了自己一拳.......
为了赎罪，我扎了马尾，前往久违了的巴刹购买材料，煲了生平第N锅汤（肯定是单位数.....），因为从前很幸运，总有老妈的爱心汤，懒惰的我又从未得到她的真传......现在只能煮那种“一锅熟”的汤......
但还好啦，呵呵，一鱼一菜两汤（那种简单到不能说的汤......）......老爸老妈说是“历史性”的画面，只要一开学大概不会重演，因此捧场把简单的饭菜一扫而空.....呵呵呵......
有时候，满足感源自最简单平凡的事儿......
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